After our appointment today we told the girls we'd go get a bagel. They were really excited because this means walking down the marketplace, a cobblestone pedestrian walkway with lots of interesting things to see. Last time we had an appointment we did this, and they loved it. Hannah cruised up and down the walkway in her walker and was a total champ. So we thought it would be a good idea to do it again.
It was another beautiful day so there were a lot of people out and about and thus, lots of people staring at Hannah with her AFOs and walker. She did great-not quite as good as the last time but she still made some good progress. But it's very stop and go and it requires infinite patience to wait with her while she walks a few steps, stops to check something out, asks to be held, walks a few more steps, and so on. All the while, people are stopping to look at her and us.
Most people smiled and were friendly, some just looked at her curiously. Several looked at us and said, "she's so cute," or at her and said, "you're doing great!" One woman let out a kind of screech and said, "Oh, looook at her! She's so cuuutteee!" And then she turned to me and asked, "Do they think she will walk someday?"
It takes SO much emotional and physical energy just to get out there with Hannah and her walker and some days it's even more of a challenge. Today was one of those days. I just was not in the mood to paste on the "I'm so okay with this" smile and humor people who approached us. I'm glad they aren't mocking or making fun of her, but it's attention nonetheless, attention we never would get if Hannah were a typical kid. And it really wears me down.
Maybe next time we will skip the walk down the marketplace for a bagel. It's a lot to do after an already taxing appointment. Or maybe next time the happy face will paste on a little easier.
3 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. I am always grateful that the comments aren't mean or spiteful, but I still always felt like I had to put on my armor to prepare for a public walk with Riley and his walker.
A good friend of mine finally said something that really helped me. She said that most women always feel like we must constantly be "nice" and polite. However, sometimes, it is ok to just ignore people. Keep up a running conversation with your girls, be preoccupied with them, act like you can't hear the comments and don't feel like you have to paste on that smile or respond in any way. Just because they feel the need to comment, you don't actually have to respond. Just walk down the street with your daughters and enjoy your day.
I think your girls are so cute, that you'd probably get the comments regardless. It's ok to just say thank you and move on..
I think a lot of parents of children with special needs can really empathize with putting the armor on (as Melissa said) when venturing out.
I really like your blog and I've added it to a blogroll we posted today at www.earlychildhoodcop.blogspot.com. I hope that's ok. If not, I can easily remove it.
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