Sunday, June 28, 2009

40 weeks

A full term pregnancy should be around 40 weeks. That's a long time. Really long. During that time you go through 3 full seasons and 9 full months. You're pregnant more of the year than you're not. Much more.

Having only made it to 27 weeks last time around, I didn't realize how long 40 weeks can really be. I am so incredibly grateful to be at 30 weeks now and in no way do I want this baby to come any earlier than full term, but I do also feel weary at the thought of being pregnant for another 10 weeks.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't seem to do the pregnancy thing very well. First time around, I figured it was carrying twins that made me so uncomfortable and cranky. This time, I realize it's just that me and being pregnant are a tough combination. The first 17 weeks were riddled with morning sickness, and by the start of the second trimester I was already big as a house so feeling every ache and pain that's supposed to wait until the third trimester to rear its ugly head. Now at 30 weeks I have this mystery pain across my abdomen which is making it next to impossible to be on my feet for any length of time.

I'm cranky about this. I'm okay (relatively speaking) with the hip and back aches, the trouble sleeping, the heartburn. I can push through it and deal with it. But this pain that I'm having now, that's forcing me to sit on my larger than usual backside for long stretches of time, really has me in a funk. It's summer and I want to be out and enjoying it with the girls, especially as this will be our last summer as a family of 4. I also have tons of things I'd like to do around the house to get ready for the baby. And in general, I just don't fare well having to sit around all day.

Today B took the girls strawberry picking and to a strawberry festival afterward. They came home with berry juice smeared across their faces and in their hair and with stories of their day. It made me sad. I missed them all day (you would have thought I would have enjoyed the peacefulness of the quiet house) and wished I was there with them, but there's no way I could have managed it. It stinks!

OK, I'll stop complaining now and just be grateful that as far as the baby goes, everything is going great. I just needed to be cranky today.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Treetop house

Has anyone read the kid's book The Gruffalo? The girls love it. They set up this fort under their easel and kept asking B and I to "join us in our treetop house," a quote directly from the book. Looks like an inviting spot, doesn't it?

Anniversaries and adaptations

Today I'm 27 weeks, 3 days, exactly how far along I was when Hannah and Isabelle were born. To celebrate, I made an unplanned visit to the OB because I'm feeling some pelvic pressure and have been kind of "off" all weekend. I was reassured to learn that things look fine for the most part; my cervix is starting to soften but not dilate or shorten so they're not concerned. I'll go back in next week for another check up but so far, all seems to be well.

The OB was funny. She said she thinks that whenever people have a history of preterm labor, they should automatically be scheduled to come in every week for the few weeks surrounding the gestational age of their last birth. I think this is a great idea! Every time I experience a twinge or ache or cramp, I immediately get anxious. I didn't think it would affect me this much, but it does. It's making it a little hard to enjoy this pregnancy, coupled with the fact that at just shy of 28 weeks, I'm definitely experiencing some of the discomforts of pregnancy: acid reflux, backaches, hard time sleeping, etc. Poor B has pretty much taken over care of the girls when he's around, and while I don't feel like I have the physical energy to be a big contributor around the house, my mind is still intact enough (for the most part!) to make me feel like a total sloth because of it.

And then there's the girls. They are both getting over a lingering cold that escalated into croup and wheezing, and Hannah is just a week out from her second round of botax. So they have both been super whiny, needy and contrary. I think some of it must also be a reaction to my dwindling involvement in their care, so already that lovely parental guilt is kicking in. I can only imagine how it will be when the babe finally does arrive. I guess at least when that happens, I'll have more energy to deal with it. Wait, no I won't. I will be sleep deprived. Right....

But on the positive side, Hannah is forcing our hand on the "how much do we adapt our house to her needs and limitations?" question. We've sort of been coasting along with this, doing some things to make it easier for her to get around but also helping her with other tasks that are challenging for her. Now in her newfound mobility and independence, Hannah is not as interested in all of that assistance. This is such a gift, but it has us hand-wringing as we look around at our 1900s two story home. So we're trying to figure out which are the most important adaptations to make and the ones that we can afford. Today Hannah's OT said something that helped me put it into perspective a little more. She said that even if Hannah can't do the entire potty routine on her own, for instance, if she can get on and off the potty herself, that might give her the sense of competence she's looking for, at least right now. And then we can keep readjusting as she grows and develops and gains more skills.

This all sounds good, I'm just not quite sure how we'll find the time or money to accomplish some of these things, especially as we're also trying to get ready for the baby. I did have a fun idea the other night before falling asleep, that maybe we could plan a "Team Hannah" day at our house and invite a bunch of folks over to help out with a few projects that would otherwise take B a long time to get to, but that with a few extra sets of hands, could be completed in half a day's work. Maybe we'll do that, or something like it. Either way, it's clear that our girl is ready to have more control of her environment, and for that I am so grateful.