The not-so-welcome wagon

We decided that we wouldn't send the girls to preschool until Fall '09, just around the time of their 4th birthday. They will still have two years of preschool under their belts before kindergarten and it gives Hannah another year to gain more mobility.


But I thought it would be a good idea to call around a few of the local places to get a read from them on when we should consider visiting and applying based on waiting lists, etc. I want to be fully prepared because with Hannah's extra needs I know we'll need more time to figure everything out. I also wanted to get an idea of how much experience each place had working with kids with mobility issues.

I called one place today that I've heard great things about and after checking out their website I feel like it would be such a super cool place for the girls to go to school. First I just asked them what the timeline was like and when we should think about visiting, etc. The woman who answered the phone told me that they don't do anything until after the holidays so in Jan 09 we'd start visiting and applying. Then I told her about Hannah's CP and asked if they had any experience working with kids with physical disabilities.

She said that she's been there for 18 years and that she hasn't dealt with any kids with physical disabilities. Then she asked what her specific needs were, whether or not she was potty trained, and how much extra attention she would require. These are all valid questions, but her tone was very abrupt and a bit harsh. For example, she said, "So what are her physical needs, because we only have 1 teacher for every 7 kids," in this very direct and slightly hostile way.

Then I asked if, as the parents of a child who had additional needs, we should consider visiting/meeting with them earlier than other parents so that we could discuss how if at all they might accomodate Hannah. The woman (I think she's their admin person) said, "well, you
should visit before we dedicate time and energy to sit down and meet about her needs, because we may not even be the right place for her. We do tons of IEPs all the time and it's too much to go through all of that if you decide it's not the best environment for her." (IEPs are individual education plans, contracts between parents and schools regarding what will be provided for children who have special needs)

I said that was fine and hung up with her, and immediately felt angry, sad, and belittled. It could just be that this person isn't the most warm/fuzzy person on the planet and her direct and efficient personality just rubbed me in the wrong way since I'm so hyper-sensitive about Hannah. But whatever it was, the conversation totally crushed me. I feel like I was this naive mom who was being given a "talking to" from a hardened veteran about the realities of
trying to find a place in the world for my amazing and also challenged daughter.

I know this is only the beginning, in terms of experiences we are going to have like this. I had decided to approach these kinds of conversations with an open mind and a positive attitude, and silly me that I just assumed we would be welcomed and respected even from places that ultimately decided they couldn't accommodate us/her. But I got the distinct sense from this woman, just in the way that she said, "Oh, yeaaaahhhh..we do toooons of IEPs" that this was not something she embraced and might even be a thorn in her side.
I have these visions of what I want for my girls from their learning environment. And I never really anticipated (or allowed myself to anticipate) that those environments might not
want my girls.