January thaw

It was in the 60s here today which for this neck of the woods at this time of the year is amazing. The birds were out, the snow is almost totally melted, and our little village was alive with people out and about and smiling. The warm weather couldn't have come at a better time, as we are just getting back out of the house again since right before New Year's, when we were all, one by one, felled by a nasty stomach bug that just wouldn't go away.

I'm reminded once again that the trauma of the girls' birth and Hannah's motor delays is still so close to the surface. It's especially difficult when Hannah gets sick because it really takes so much out of her. She's barely 19lbs soaking wet (and she's 27 months old) so she has very little reserves. When she doesn't eat, vomits and has diarrhea for days on end, I start to think about how hard we worked for every one of those 18 lbs, 12 ounces and I just feel defeated. And she is defeated, too. On a good day, Hannah gets totally pooped out after minimal physical activity and needs some kind of high calorie food to get her going again. When she's sick, she can barely keep her head up. The other day she literally did not move from the floor where I laid her down while I put a few dishes away. It's such a stark contrast to Isabelle, who like most kids, I assume, has to be pretty bad off to be so inactive. Sure, she slows down and is less feisty than she usually is, but she still has an interest in and ability to move around and play.

This latest round of sickness had me especially panicked, I think because Hannah had been doing so great and making some really nice progress, and this felt like a setback. It also happened at the height of the post-holiday winter blahs, a hard enough time to feel sunny and light.

The good news is, she's eating well again and getting some of her energy back. And today was an absolutely beautiful, spring-like day.